Clockwise Eddies

Clockwise Eddies Photo

Clockwise Eddies
By Julie Flanders

The hawk sees differently
Its eye finds no horizon
It does not fear falling
It feels life calling it into the sky
And opens its whole body up
To fling itself into empty space
And to make circles
With the traces of its silhouette

Grief is what you can’t forget

Grief is what you can’t remember

A painted pinecone
From some September classroom
Where you asked for a glass of water
But the teacher told you to sit down
And the whole class stared at you
And that one girl turned around
To say you were a joke

Grief is white smoke rising
From a cold fire

There is no cure
There is no place to go
To inquire about how to make it stop
Grief is an eternally spinning top
Like the one on that boy’s desk
When the principal came
And called out your name

Grief feels like you are under arrest
Like you are in chains
And about to be taken away
Like there’s a secret the whole room knows
About you
But no one will say

Grief is the moment you can’t turn away

You can’t have a glass of water
You are thirsty
You are drowning
You are the only daughter of a thousand dying suns
About to expire, but not yet
Not until they scorch what you are seeing
Eclipse your whole way of being
Into a blur

Grief arrives but doesn’t leave
It just occurs
Grief changes who you were
Into who you will never be
Grief is a prayer
Without an amen

Grief stuns you with its fierce beauty

And so you rise from your chair
Reluctant with duty
And you go to the door
Where the principal waits
To tell you what no one anticipates

Stop the world
Stop all the pretending
This is where life begins
This is the true ending
Where the hero dies
And his daughter is left
Holding a piece of pink chalk
Can’t cry, can’t breathe, can’t walk

One day you look up
And you see a hawk flying
A dark shape
In stark relief against a white sky

We are all the circles that we draw
With our life
We are all the courage that we have
To say goodbye

Grief is when we circle back
With no horizons
But those we hold inside

We feel the call of life
To fly
So we open our wings
And fling our whole body into space
Until we rise


About octoberprojectmusic

Julie Flanders Marina Belica Emil Adler
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