QUEEN BEE

I woke or emerged to find I was being carried 
It was extremely pleasurable
And I did not feel a need to resist
 
When we arrived
The workers laid me down
And bowed
Before they left the nest for other tasks
 
I was new to the colony
Recently emergent
And did not yet know the customs
 
It wasn’t until something began happening that
My instincts would assure me
Ah, this is right
I recognize this
 
When the males started arriving to mate
I was receptive
I could smell the pheromones
That marked them as
Being one with us
 
In our colony
We mate in multiplicities
Assuring we don’t incur the dangers of inbreeding
And expanding the ways in which the colony can survive
 
Each of the males
Served a gift of seeds
Entering my still new body
To plant the future
 
I was receptive to this
The seeds would be with me for a while
I knew there were other queens
But I might as well have been the only one
 
The workers who attended me
Were small but fierce
Making the environment around us
Safe and comfortable
 
The repletes arrived with food
And the haploids worked tirelessly
Never questioning their station
 
One day, however
A male was brought to me
With a different smell
It was an intoxicating smell
Compelling, familiar, foreign
 
An intruder
Whose scent was designed to throw off all chance
Of recognizing him as different
 
As he entered
With his gift of seed
I knew
And did not know
He was from elsewhere
 
It was the strongest connection I had made
 
I did not reveal my suspicions
But instead
Trusted life
And its ways of moving to and through me
 
When he left
I chewed through my wings
To signal that I was full
And that I would bear life
From the seeds already there
 
It was like putting up a sign
No vacancy
 
I love the ways we are organized
That we are a community of created beings
Ancient and new
Coordinating as if we were one corpus
One living breathing intention
With a million bodies
 
Each day
A mix of instinct and improvisation
Toward a greater good
Where life and food and birth
Happen without thought and
We build and inhabit whole worlds of our own invention
 
It is beautiful to be a part of something
So intelligently engineered
And to know
That my royal part in it is fundamental
Essential
And sacrosanct
 
I would just as gladly be born a worker
As a queen
Because there is no shame in being what is needed
 
And yet
That one day
The stranger came
I also understood
What it might mean to be different
Not just a “one of many”
But a “one of a kind”
 
It scares me to think about that
I prefer to turn my attention to my next tasks
And to feel life inside me
Urging itself into the forms that are needed
By the collective
 
One day I will be gone
But it will be as if I am still here
Within and among the others
 
I carry history into this present moment
In my awareness and my lineage
Life moves through me
And I move
Through life

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Alex Mihai

It’s Day TWENTY FIVE of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

SADNESS TWIRLS

Sadness twirls
And marches through me
Like soldiers who have come home
To a place
They no longer recognize

My heart beats metallic
Without regard
For any rhythm but its own
Losses

Some woman tosses garbage in the street

I discard myself
And hope to start again
As someone else

There is no one else
To be
Or not to be
That is the sadness

I hurl myself
Into life
And hope to lose myself
There

But sadness grows
Like Rapunzel’s hair
And I watch myself
Kill the hour
Like some maiden in a tower
Waiting

To live

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Maycon Marmo

It’s Day TWENTY FOUR of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

THE MOON AS USUAL

The moon is a full surprise
As you round the corner of the reservoir
Your eyes
Meet the over-blue horizon
And that rising yellow light
Familiar, astonishing
Lambent, bright
 
Every night
So much you see
Disappears in measure
In degree
As if by some magnificent decree
You are growing slowly blind
To beauty
That is everywhere in front of you
And behind
 
You
Have to ache into your bones
Hear the call of ancient tones
And yearn
For something you have always known
But somehow have forgotten
 
The clues
Are rising with the moon
Held in the clouds
And the day’s perfume
 
You have been lost
Too long
Lost too soon
But now
You are finding your way
Home
With no compass
But your beating heart
You guide yourself
To finally start
 
Everything
You have tried to numb
Awakens and begins
To come alive
 
And this is how
You learn to live
To love the world
And to forgive
The sadness and the loneliness
You carry
 
As if you were the only one breathing
As if you were the only one
Grieving beauty
 
Your eyes are windows
Blue and wide
Where everything you see has died
But you still carry life
Inside

© 2024 Julie Flanders

It’s Day TWENTY THREE of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

INTO A NEARBY PHONE BOOTH

Superman jumped up
Right over our heads
We could hardly see him
But we could feel the whoosh of air
The flash of red
As all of Times Square stopped to stare
At the man in the cape
 
From this far away
He is nothing but a shape
Nothing but a means of escape
In my heart
 
I can hardly tell you how much time I have spent
Falling out of love with Superman
Falling in love with Clark Kent
Trying to take the whole puzzle apart
Or put it together
So that he can put down that disguise
Forever
And turn into someone I recognize
 
Love is the mirror I hold in my eyes
Let it be your portrait
Let it be your door
Let it be the window that lets the starlight
Come through to the dance floor
 
I’ll be your partner in a dance of secrets
The curse of your power
The cause of your weakness
We’re losing ourselves
But life will still seek us
Always to bring us home
 
You think of the past
As a beautiful portrait
A memory you hold
Until time scorches its edges to a blur
There for a moment
A witness you were
An actor
A hero
A lover
The random X-factor
Of all that you are
In the scars of your life
The invisible marks
I can see
 
Before you are known
Before you are seen
For the hero you are
And the person you’re being
I will be standing
And searching the sky
For the red of your cape
And your courage to fly
 
Superman

© 2024 Julie Flanders

It’s Day TWENTY TWO of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

MYSTERY TRAIN

[-1-]
She had never liked the name Sally
 
She had a secret name
Her real name
Her grandmother’s name
A name she had never been called by
In her family
Yet it was hers legally
And now that grandma was dead
She decided to try it out
 
She would be Sarah
 
She would cut and dye her hair
She would shed her clothes
And dress up Tilda Swinton-style
David Bowie-bold
And strut into her new life
Leaving no Lone Star tick larvae
Sleeping under her skin
Draining her of her imagination
And her will to begin
 
She had no plan
No destination really
Just that she was going to jump
A mystery train of dreams
And head for the place
Where the ocean tips over the horizon’s seams
 
A place where others would be
Reluctant to follow her
A place from which
She would not return
 
So, she took her backpack
And walked out into the bright world
Straight to the station
And decided
She would take the next scheduled ride
Wherever it was bound
 
The sign said Providence
She got on
And headed South
 
The train conductor did not know
That she was Sarah now
He could not know
That she would not return
As she had bought a round-trip
Ticket
To confuse whoever might decide
To follow her
Once it had become clear
That Sally had forever
Disappeared
 
 
[-2-]
She left his room
In a pair of socks
That didn’t match
In any way
Except that they were both warm
and seemingly new
 
She tied her hair back
With a shoelace she found in the medicine cabinet
Next to a dried rose
And a bottle of nose drops
 
She found his cupboards
Almost bare
Except for some baking soda
Some olive oil
And a box of TRiX
Very old
 
The refrigerator had some cold figs
And a can of coffee
But no milk
 
He had left
Where she could find it
A note
And a throat lozenge
From his coat pocket
 
There was a key for the door
So, she could lock it behind her
 
When she went back
Out into the street
The maze of concrete
Waited for her
To lose herself in
 
 
[-3-]
She is rocking in the garden
Full of every living thing
Between this life and any other
 
She sits on a child’s swing
And remembers
How her mother used to sing to her
 
Where the days moved so slowly
Between her heart and every other
Across a distance she knows
Is still too far to go
 
In some strange tunnel
Under her
Under Sally
There are a thousand silences
No one can see
 
The pain
That runs under her
Is always and never the same
Something she perceives to enter
Like a mystery train

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Keenan Constance

It’s Day TWENTY ONE of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

4 JULY

The day avalanches
 
Memory
Marching in a haphazard parade
Old soldiers of feeling
On a broken cavalcade
Waving
To the children on the curb
 
We can see farther and farther
Into the origin of the stars
That big banging moment
When
All hell broke loose
A locomotive of energy
With an infinite caboose of debris
 
We keep trying to blow things up
The whole world
Collecting rain
In a paper cup
As if we could slake this thirst
With the lurid
Explosive
Curse of our own nature
 
We watch ourselves hang
Tongues out
As the drums bang
And the soldiers shout
Toothless chants
Without the powers
Of the past
 
Power lingers
But it does not last
 
We stand and wave back
To the parade
As the day roasts
Our skin with sun
No shade
As the ghosts
March on 
As if some battle was won
 
But what we believed in once
Is long gone
 
We are still searching on
For what to believe
In
Instead
 
As we walk among the living
We see the living dead
Proceed before us
 
We cannot ignore
The explosion of dread
The big bang overhead
 
I’ve forgotten what you said
As the universe bled
Stars

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Ali Muftuogullari

It’s Day TWENTY of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

DREAM WALTZ

The day was a church

Of long forgotten saints
Praying in the street
As the sunset faints
 
But you’re in the throes of it
And the crows are screaming from the trees
And you still remember
The past is ill at ease
The world forgets
These simple truths
We hold to be self-evident
 
As darkness comes
 
The monument left standing there
A man you do not recognize
A dream waltz in the old town square
The girl with galaxies for eyes
You saw the stars in front of you
You felt them burn inside
The shock of something in your blood
Rich electric tides
 
If you could just untie yourself
Unfolding in surprise
If you could just forgive yourself
You’d finally recognize 
Saints you have denied
 
The feelings streak like meteors
Crossing ancient skies
The truth is buried in the words
You use to compromise
The world was born from violent storms
Of science and of mystery
We think our way to facts of life
And bend the facts to history
The heart still beats for something greater
Fragile and insane
You’ll find a rooftop here to sing from
Shouting to the rain
 
You don’t need a compass now
The stars will be enough
The saints and sinners came before
To mark the path of love
The day is littered with itself
As people go to sleep
You know you’ll be awake all night
The day is yours to keep
 
And so you stumble to the roof
To make the night your own
You see the stars rise in the sky
And sing your song alone
 
Around you where the ruins stand
The saints and sinners fall
The world forgets these monuments
We rise and then we crawl
Hold on to what is beautiful
Let go into the night
 
The day is littered with itself
But you are full of light

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Tomas Anunziata

It’s Day EIGHTEEN of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day.

NEVERLAND

 
[-1-]
Sometimes I feel like Tinkerbell
Sleeping in a drawer of thread
And scissors
Dreaming an earthquake
 
It’s only you
Looking for something
 
In books
The pirates were romantic
Anti-heroes of the Atlantic
Trying to make Peter Pan
Panic
 
Now the books are thick
Pedantic
This is how we fill our heads
 
Violence
Stains the ocean water red
And fiction itself is almost dead
 
What can I believe in
Instead
 
I don’t believe A.I. is safe
But I also don’t believe
We can escape
Ourselves
 
The internet is a terrible sea
Of viruses and piracy
 
I could believe in something better
For your sake
More than mine
 
Clocks say we are out of time
 
Oh, what would it be
To never age
To always be young
 
On the illustrated page
The princess daughter in the water
One day
Catches her reflection
And keeps it that way
Forever
 
Can we stay?
Can we stay together?
 
We do what we can
We still remember Peter Pan
 
Caring for boys
Who never grow up
Wendy was guilty of
Loving too much
But even she could not believe
She would have to one day leave
Neverland
 
Tinkerbell
Stays to the very end
To the limits of childhood
And to the limits of pretend
 
Pretending
Magic
Heals despair
Neverland was always there
Forever a place
We could go back to
If only we just had the map
 
Mortal creatures
Almost strangers
See how time has come to change us
 
Can you love me anyway
In this aging, ugly skin
Love the light I am within
I want so much to cover up
Please remember not to look
 
I still wish I could live in a book
Burn the ships
And flee the hook
 
Close the drawer
Go back to sleep
And dream of something
I can keep
 
 
[-2-]
In a drawer
Of scissors and thread
Tinkerbell
Lay down her head
Folded her tiny translucent wings
To dream of remarkable, fanciful things
 
Wendy
Lay home
In her childhood bed
Outgrowing her clothes
As her mattress stained red
 
Could she have stayed
Was she right to have fled?
 
Time will not tell
She must leave it unsaid
 
Life is a story
Life is a book
Life is a fiction
We unhook there with Pan
 
We have to grow up
And we learn what we can
But we’ll never be free
To return
 
Neverland

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Limor Zellermayer

It’s Day SEVENTEEN of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

TULIPS

I woke this morning
To the flowers that you left
Right next to the
Compass you forgot
 
How will you know where you are going
 
I am guessing you will go north
 
The tulips never let themselves
Really spill forth
They always seem restrained
 
I wore a new dress for you
And this morning it is stained
 
Sometimes I realize
We each have two lips
But only one mouth
 
I am guessing I will go south
Before you come back
 
Have I ever told you how much I love roses?
They are so generous with their perfume
And they open until they fall apart
 
Your two lips might well stay as closed
As an artichoke heart
 
My lips will stay separate
Not because of my teeth
But because
Of the words
That hang in a pause
And form a wreath
Of meaning that lurks beneath
The niceties
We bequeath one another
 
I put a penny in the water
Of the vase
Where the tulips stand
Like the poppies on the way to Oz
 
I wish you could explain yourself
Because
I wait for you in a flower field
And wonder how to pause
To consider
To yield to
What you do not say
 
I woke this morning
And now
It is a new day
 
When will I know if you are going away
Or coming back

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Anh Nguyen

It’s Day SIXTEEN of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest

LIFECRAFT

The day shimmers 
A mirage
A man
Searches his garage
No luck
 
When he was a boy
He had a red truck
A bright metal toy
He could move through universes
A lifecraft
To escape his parents
And their turbulent emotions
 
Now
The garage holds oceans of 
Lost things
Screws, bolts, strange silver rings
 
He searches there
For something to repair
A broken doll
In desperate need of emergency care
 
His granddaughter opens
An infinite stare
Standing with him
At the border of hope and despair
She sighs
 
The doll is old
And has no hair
But now her head is just hanging there
Waiting to fall off
 
The man hears his wife cough
Sends the girl inside
Then
Pulls the doll’s head free from her body
With wide pliers
 
Somewhere
In his boxes of wire and fur
He finds just the thing
To bring the doll back together
With herself
Bits of this and that from his extraordinary shelf
Of ordinary things
 
The phone rings
One of the last living landlines
On planet earth
A place that will soon be unable to birth
New life
 
But for now
The old man
And his wife
And this little girl
Have saved this day
 
The girl and the doll
Go out to play
The woman
And the old man look at each other
That special way
That people dream of looking at each other
As the sun sets
 
No apologies
No regrets

© 2024 Julie Flanders
Photo Credit: Sebastian Pandelache

It’s Day FIFTEEN of Poetry Month! We’re posting a new poem every day. Enter our 6th annual poetry contest: http://www.octoberprojectmusic.com/poetry-contest/annual-poetry-contest